The Death of the Pigeon

While I was working yesterday, my supervisor tried to show me an imprint on the window of the building - a mark left by a diving pigeon hitting the glass. The bird died of course. When I tried to witness the trace that was left by the bird, I wasn’t able to see anything: It had been cleaned out entirely by a student custodian. My supervisor was trying very hard to describe the scene, vividly, that the bird was diving down toward the building and fearlessly crashing into it. I imagined the moment… There is an old saying: " Human beings die in pursuit of wealth, and birds die in search of food.” Did the pigeon see a delicious meal in the building, craving food, and willing to exchange it for his life? My supervisor described the final moment: a bold bird was lying in a pool of blood in front of the window. This is an accident that was caused by neglect and unawareness. Many things in life are beyond our expectations, many of the accidents invariably intertwined in our life. Many people spend most of their life try to avoid the accidents. Because the uncertainty of walking on the unpredictable paths would bring anxiety for most of us, we tend to walk on the paved roads -the ways that allow us to see the destination. However, for some other people, they like to enjoy the uncertainty and unlimited future, risking their life could be very enjoyable. What is the price they have to pay for those enjoyable moments? Possibly mistakes. The pigeon made a mistake, a mistake without turning back. If you decide to leave the path as the bird, please stay vigilant. Sadly, many people are not so aware of what they have encountered in their life. Even if they make mistakes, they don’t learn lessons. It ends up becoming a tragedy similar to the dead pigeon. The death of the bird could be a lesson for all of us.

Father and Son by Cat Steven

CALL ME BY MY RIGHT NAME

Quote, "There are any number of people who try to find more respectable or glamorous titles for the mundane jobs they hold. It may seem incongruous to call an undertaker a 'transportation expediter,' but some prefer those titles. "

Are we trying to impress people by the ways we want instead of the way we really are?

The Outlet of Life

Can you imagine living on a bed for 27 years and not being able to move from the neck down?

For me, my life would have no more color if I was not able to move again. But this is a real experience about a handicapped person whom I knew in Hualien.

I’ve lived in Hualien for four years. Hualien is the most beautiful place in Taiwan. There is a national park in this area with beautiful sunshine, blue sky, ocean, and whales. The wind from the ocean always pats your face, telling you there’s always a dream.

During that summer in 2003, I worked as a substitute teacher at an elementary school. “I wanted to spend some time with the native people and not always be with kids,” I thought. I needed a new plan for the next semester. So my friend, who is a faithful Christian, introduced me to a charity organization to be a volunteer. It was located in a four-floor building right by the ocean and cultural center. The organization offers several kinds of services, such as feeding paralyzed people, cleaning houses for seniors, taking care of handicapped kids and talking to those who are so-called “residents” in this charity.

I began my feeding work from that time, from the beginning of knowing about nothing. I imagined being in their shoes, having to be fed by someone else, figuring out the best speed and way I should scoop the food from the bowl to their mouths. I noticed that unlike older ones, every younger resident had their interests, like painting, writing and watching puppet shows. But they were unable to do those things on their own.

Their life was all about waiting and relying on other people. Even though they still have desires to live a normal life, it is tough for them to do simple things.

One of the residents, Gao Hao-qing, was well-educated. Before the accident that paralyzed him, he was working in a publicly-owned company. That accident was in 1978 while he was a young man with a bright future. Falling down from four-story-high building shattered his dreams.

When I first saw him, he lay on the bed which was covered with a green sheet. He was reading a book related to the gospel. His back was facing the door so that he didn’t notice me as I entered. Then he gave me a sheet of paper that he has written about his life. I started to know about him and other residents.

If you asked me, “What is the meaning of life?” I would answer, “It is a process of searching for an outlet of life.” The Holy Bible says, “A bruised reed shall he not break, and smoking flax shall he not quench.” It has been said:” If Heavenly Father closes a door of your life, He shall open another window for you.” I remember when I first came to the Men-Nou foundation, brother Gao wanted me to help him write. He said a sentence, then I wrote it down. He told me the hardest thing about writing is that nobody is there to help him write the moment he thinks of something. He always has to wait for someone to help him write, but when someone finally comes, he usually has forgotten what he would like to say. His biggest hope is to be able to write by himself.

Because they have urine bags, the toilet means nothing to them. I remember one cold December night, I got there to help them fold urine bags. He said sometimes these bags break, making a pretty bad mess on his bed. If I was him, I don’t know if I would be able to relearn all those trivial things that are so simple and easy for most of us. We always think we should learn more and own more and never feel satisfied. Sometimes we forget to look back and enjoy those things we already own.

Writing on his own is a big hope for Gao Hao-qing. Because he is well-educated, he is able to write well, just like a writer. Many people encourage him to write about the charity foundation. This is a good way to let people know about this charity foundation and the people here. Therefore, people might offer their energy and time to help these people.

Christmas was about to come. Men-Nou foundation had a party for all of the residents and volunteers. People were gathering in the lobby and watching the performances which were prepared by the people that work there. I had never known if I was important to those people who lived in this hospital-like building. People come and leave having no chance to know each other very well. I thought I was going to be one of those people that leave without getting to know them very well. Most of the residences lied on the moving bed to see the performance. But some of them, including Gao Hao-qing, only thought of moving back to their room. In their mind, those things are a routine, having no meaning anymore.

Time passed by, I was getting to know these residents very well. I wrote for them, mailed for them, and held books for them. Other residents, who lied next to Gao Hao-qing, also became my good friends. I found out my important role is to be a joker. I don’t care much about my personal well-being as much as I want them to be happy.

Spring was coming, brother Gao told me his University classmates donated some money to help him buy a kind of special computer that is designed for handicapped people. This computer has a laser pen for typing which is strapped around a person's head. They can then point the laser on the screen and select the character they want. This technology is perfect for brother Gao because he can only move his head.

In 2005, I left Hualien. Before I left, I got an e-mail from brother Gao. He wrote, “I can type on my own now. I don’t need people waiting while I think anymore.” I am so glad he is able to type by himself now. He can now write many good stories and influence people for good. His most important stories are his testimonies of our Heavenly Father. His life is a testimony of perseverance and faith.

回憶裡的天馬行空

葉在橙黃色的斜陽下飛舞 翻茖在一片綠草如茵 地上滿是掉下的栗子．．．
想念 舊日:


Autumn Spring 是最愛的一部電影 捷克斯拉夫片　好幾年的回憶

The Rice Room 最近很想看的一本書 簡介陳述的回憶

Buffalo 從黃石公園到北美移民

Dolphin 藍色海島 Kodiak Indians and San Nicolas Island (The Island of Blue Dolphin)


很想回台灣養老的老鄰居 說起我的童年給她的記憶 她說的 我其實全然遺忘 　想回去的理由　存在他多年的回憶裡　


由於日光節約時間 於是今天又多了一個小時 我今天的記憶會因此增多吧


"欣賞有內涵 有思想的女生" 這句話 還得加上 " 有臉蛋" 三個字 當然 有臉蛋這三個字在這裡絕不是 " 表面釋義" 那麼簡單

既然這麼說 那我也得附和著 " 不欣賞膚淺 虘榮 注重表面 沒思想的男生"


喂! 等一下 這跟回憶有什麼相關

因為 回憶裡存在著這種人格吧


可是 思想很重要嗎? 　它卻比不上一個良善的人格

如果能夠良善　有思想　不是很好嗎

那與回憶又有什麼相關


精錬的回憶讓思想成熟呀

而良善可以因為回憶而維持...只讓別人的好存在回憶裡..我們才能擁有感謝 保持和善


有意思


當日的紐約時報 與他出生的日子 記載著那天世界的動向...這是買報紙的理由　也是給他的回憶

好玩的連結

自殺的鴿子

昨天工作的時候，我的supervisor 試圖秀給我看一個大樓玻璃牆上的印記--一隻振翅俯衝而撞上玻璃的鴿子所留下的鴿痕。當然，鴿子已死。

當我專心察看的時候，其實已沒有任何遺留的痕跡。清潔玻璃的工讀生早已擦拭乾淨。於是我的supervisor試著描繪那壯烈的一幕，比手劃腳地說著。我只好試圖去想...

都說「人為財死，鳥為食亡」，難不成這隻鴿子看見玻璃大樓內有個可口的餐點，垂涎不已，只好奮力一搏。supervisor說牠正倒在牠最後的清楚印記下，滿頭是血地...

這是一樁天空的意外事故，卻道出了一種毫無心裡預設的遺憾，沒有準備，快到反應不過來的遺憾。

我相信人生裡有許多事都不在預料範圍之內，許多的偶然不斷交織。很多的人一生都在致力於避免那種偶然，不在預料之內的事太沒有安全感，於是他們走別人鋪好的路，看得到終點的未來；有些人則是刻意脫離軌道，特意享受一種似賭博的快感，冒險似的過著他們的人生。

而這隻鴿子正是動物的世界裡的糊塗鬼。脫離了舊有熟悉的路最忌愇犯糊塗，在冒險的未知道上犯糊塗所付出的代價有時不過是勞力傷財而已，嚴重的時候，卻會毀了自己的一生。

悲哀的是，許多人就是那種經常精神不集中的糊塗鬼，大多數的時候還伴隨著習慣性健忘：不會記取過去的教訓。

而結果就是這麼悲慘，好比這隻壯烈的鴿子。
這到底是椿意外，亦或是一種自殺。

文山阿摩尼亞溫泉的啓示

昨夜突降甘霖 夜涼如水
好友四人相偕至天祥文山溫泉泡湯
黑夜的倦意被聳立峽谷的壯闊所吞沒

這是一個宜蘭人 一個花蓮人 一個台南人 一個台中人 和一條混種馬爾濟斯狗所組成的夜襲太魯閣軍團

國家公園的靜謐裡隱含著生命的躍動
立霧溪夜以繼日的奔流 彷彿趕赴太平洋的一場盛會

大兵沿著中橫公路旁步道往下 到立霧溪底
驚見 夢中的夏日溫泉..

突然 馬爾濟斯狗Cash不顧一切地往外狂奔
都說 狗鼻子最靈
溫泉鄉裡陣陣阿摩尼亞味道撲鼻

肯定是前人(遊客)種樹 好讓後人乘涼
前人用心良苦 讓國家公園立下良好典範

諸位看官若問 天祥文山溫泉有何特色 屬何種泉質？
答案便是 具有純天然阿摩尼亞成份 保證不加工

感謝諸位大德 發揮如此公德心 撒下一泡 不含香精的阿摩尼亞 溫泉尿

記得 內用外敷更具療效
使用之後 亦可提神醒腦

四人一狗 被嗆的 精神大振

註：
　1.來遊文山溫泉之必備物品 防毒面具 氧氣筒

    2.欲攜回此神泉者不須自備空瓶 溫泉旁即有成堆丢棄的空瓶可供使用?

稻草人悲歌

壹、
就像是AI人工智慧
你是老祖宗驕傲的發明--用來嚇跑吃穀子的賤鳥

一出生 你就擁有主人恩賜的一頂斗笠
偶爾披上一條傲人的圍巾 在陽光下迎風搖曳
廣大的金黃色稻浪 在你的視野中翻騰
白雲在你眼前奔飛 輕點你的帽緣 隨即流走
你守候著這片田梗 無論是出陽或是星晨

你的守候才是真正的海枯石爛 至死不渝

貳、
當溪口的白芒花染遍了大地
孩子們因秋日的踏青去看你
看你與你守候的金黃色稻穗
但不忍告訴你的是--稻穗要在孩子們眼前向你說再見

你說你開始想念你的守候了

孩子捨不得你的淚 於是 帶著你坐上踏青而來的遊覽車
同我們回到遊戲與閱讀的教室
除了斗笠圍巾 你被裝飾成叼著香煙戴墨鏡的斗笠神探

稻草人啊！你聽得懂我說的話嗎？
你總是站在教室後面看著我
很想問你 在這侷狹之地 是否想念藍空下一望無際的田野...



無所謂吧！有一群重視你的孩子 看顧著你





參、
實習生來了 坐在教室後面
我對孩子們說： 「今天有新客人來看我們，坐在教室後面，是誰呀？」
孩子們毫不考慮地回答：「稻草人！」
實習生尷尬的眼神寫在臉上
我說：「你真成了孩子們眼中的唯一了」

冬日的涼冷已遠
春天的氣息 漸漸爬過校園的矮牆
那棵葉紅至落的楓香 開始鑽出一點青綠
而你 你已立於此地百日

歡樂的稻草人臉上 漸漸寫上憂傷
擁擠的小教室裡 正忙著學期大掃除
老師：「稻草人身上的稻草掉了滿地，都是灰塵」
老師：「稻草很難掃吔 ！」

不得已 我們將你移到了走廊上
雖然沒有教室來得安全清靜 可是還能遮風避雨
況且 也可以向走廊上穿梭的孩子們打聲招呼

稻草人啊！還聽得到我說話嗎？
很謝謝你 總是在寂靜的空教室外 陪伴著我...






佇立在廊上的顯眼 讓你重新被投以關注的眼光
走過的孩子們 無不驚呼著你的存在
你得以安慰了吧！

時間 慢慢推移

等到 滋養著土地的春日雨露 開始灑滿大地
微笑的孩子 早已忘記
秋天對你的承諾--讓你不再孤單

空氣讓飄移的雨 撲向你
你脆弱的身軀 又再凋零
稻草 散落一地

終於 有人來對我抱怨
「你們班的稻草吹到我們的走廊了」
「我們教室前面變得很髒，都是你們的稻草」

也許 是該要對你說再見了

這天午後 三個小朋友抬著你 往學校的垃圾場走去
你身上的稻草痕跡
仍然 遺落在
孤寂的廊境上...

後記：
1 稻草人的守後 讓我想起情侶之一堅真不變的愛戀
2 受孩子所寵時候的稻草人 像戀愛之初 人們眼裡只容得下唯一的另一半
3 稻草人最後的命運則是宣示著愛情走進墳墓 直到死亡...

覆蓋記憶

秋末 冬天還沒來...
白芒花在風裡搖擺
他們說：坐流籠可以很快地到達...
你嬌小的身軀剛好可以置於其中

那年 你6歲

大甲溪在你底下竄流著
你馳乘而下
很快地到達山谷
成箱的水密桃與青蘋果等候載運
而你 只須恣意地吐納 空氣裡的淒清
最後的一片葉 還沒落下呵...

烏鴉在谷底盤旋
大甲溪的嗚咽仍然在低廻
鐵皮工寮的一縷炊煙 緩緩上升

十年後 你在白芒花淹蓋的土坡上等著
等待她砍下 果樹身上的藤蔓
「還救得成嗎？」， 你問。

斷裂的記憶片刻紛飛...
最後的一片楓紅 還沒落下

再見 小豆芽!

小豆芽 當我第一次見到你們
我彷彿與你們相隔一個世紀

我努力地憶起 我8歲時的模樣
可是 我消融的記憶裡 已沒有你們的影子

只是覺得 我這俗繁塵世的腦袋瓜裡
不及你們 小小的一片青綠

你們最創意瘋狂的自畫像裡
有火紅的頭髮 鮮黃的鞋子
配上鑲滿彩帶星星的裙擺
十足的野獸派呵

我說 你們是最有個性的小畫家

當你們 瘋狂喧鬧
我的心裡緊繃著 一顆炸彈
投向你們
立刻的 猛一沈靜 鴉雀無聲…

沈默 只是一片短暫的黑幕
一會兒 你們又可以繽紛地迎向我

你們是一棵棵小豆芽
急著從土裡探出頭來
呼吸著新鮮空氣
好奇地探知 這彩色的世界

可是 你們可曾知道
彩色的背後 只有單調的三種顏色

你們手裡握著七色花的種子
種在我秋末的草場上
漸漸地 發芽了
最後 長成了一片繽紛的記憶

再見了 我的小豆芽
我的思念 將會及於 那滿山的亮麗

尋牛

今晨在早餐店的報紙上看到這樣一則廣告：

尋牛
遺失種公母牛各乙頭
特徵 1公 剛換完毛如老鼠色腳短約一寸
2母 黃色毛腳約一尺
如蒙各位幫忙尋獲者 奬金10萬元

我想起我的一位學生 常常喜歡下課站在我身旁
不斷地叨絮著家裡的瑣事
前一陣子 她每天都來報告 家裡剛養的那頭小山豬的狀況

她常常問我 可不可以把山豬帶來給同學看

我對她說 山豬太重 妳也許抱不動
或許妳可以把牠的樣子拍下來 帶給我們看呀！
我時常就這様跟她一搭一唱 一來一往....

有一天 她失望的跑來告訴我
家裡的山豬被偷走了 連籠子...也沒放過

我對她的話表示遺憾
並安慰她 不養山豬可以養別的 像是兔子之類的

過幾天 她又來告訴我 裝山豬的籠子在路旁找到了 可是裡面的豬不見了....

篆養牲口 遺失牲口 尋找牲口
這些事 好像應該發生在四、五十年代的農村社會吧！

如果社會的經濟已困頓到 必須竊取牲口
那麼 到底是竊賊的錯 還是這個社會的錯